she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
