I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize