If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
