Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
