i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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