goodnight i made you a song goodbye
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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