Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.