If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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