I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar