if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.