Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(603): View more from New Hampshire

Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?

(1-603): View more from New Hampshire

No...more like a life jacket.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(603): Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet? (1-603): No...more like a life jacket. http://tfl.nu/4uwt

Replies (8) Good night (1401) Bad night (473) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(608): View more from Wisconsin

Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(608): Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea http://tfl.nu/i55m

Replies (16) Good night (622) Bad night (5622) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(443): View more from Maryland

My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(443): My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat. http://tfl.nu/c3g0

Replies (46) Good night (4482) Bad night (586) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(408): View more from California

She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(408): She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that. (717): I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother... http://tfl.nu/ehm3

Replies (153) Good night (1889) Bad night (25530)
Favorite
(516): View more from New York

i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(516): i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles. http://tfl.nu/x8s9

Replies (15) Good night (6815) Bad night (526) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(819): View more from Quebec

Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?

(604): View more from British Columbia

Each and every day.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(819): Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough? (604): Each and every day. http://tfl.nu/71fx

Replies (16) Good night (4448) Bad night (830)
Favorite
(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(814): I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was. http://tfl.nu/qrct

Replies (39) Good night (1649) Bad night (5241)
Favorite
(540): View more from Virginia

all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(540): all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes http://tfl.nu/yixn

Replies (33) Good night (8102) Bad night (1112) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(205): View more from Alabama

She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(205): She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends. http://tfl.nu/ogdq

Replies (5) Good night (869) Bad night (2379) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(651): View more from Minnesota

I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(651): I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening. http://tfl.nu/p9mo

Replies (7) Good night (3695) Bad night (825) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(419): View more from Ohio

I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(419): I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home. http://tfl.nu/9c0m

Replies (4) Good night (955) Bad night (1951) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(360): View more from Washington

You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(360): You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch. http://tfl.nu/13cn

Replies (5) Good night (2732) Bad night (462) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(360): View more from Washington

So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(360): So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five. http://tfl.nu/vwra

Replies (8) Good night (2333) Bad night (688) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(+58): View more from

James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+58): James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes. http://tfl.nu/8mur

Replies (14) Good night (764) Bad night (222) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(250): View more from British Columbia

Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(250): Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher. http://tfl.nu/t3xh

Replies (8) Good night (767) Bad night (562) Order T-Shirt

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: