She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
