I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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