I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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