I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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