i always forget guys have bellybuttons
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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