i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
