Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
