I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
