ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
