Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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