Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
