you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I just googled if crying burns calories
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
