I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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