Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
