Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
