I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
