Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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