Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
