This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
