You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
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Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
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Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
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