when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
