conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
