Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
