Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.