Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i will never coherently bang her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize