this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!