pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I need to sanitize my soul.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.