ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
