She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
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in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
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DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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