So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
