i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize