The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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