I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
