I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Say something about gay babies.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
