some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
