Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
