# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
