so explain again why im purple
no
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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