I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
