How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
