on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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