why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
