I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
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we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
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I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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