glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Randomize
