Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
