when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
