Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize
