THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Randomize
