So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
