You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
