I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
