Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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