I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
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we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
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All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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