he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
