So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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