Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
