wanna go halves on a baby?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
