if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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