He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
