Pregnant stripper...not hot.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
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